I'm Just a lifeguard for the Missouri River Swimming Club These Days
A life long friend told me the other day he was stopped by someone who
knows that he is my friend and asked "Is your friend Dean for real
with that story about swimming in the Missouri River and jumping in
off of the bridge". My friend explained "Well, you know he just might
be getting carried away with the story."
Look being a writer isn't easy work. But being a writer about the past
is one of the hardest tasks because we must rely on memory and memory
is not very exacting. Recently when I was in Kansas City I drove down
Tracy Avenue in the Chouteau Housing Projects and I noticed how small
the turn was at the bottom of the hill. In my memory that was a big
street and I was always wore out riding a bicycle back up the hill but
in reality it wasn't so big. Like the guy in "Big Fish" it is possible
some of my memories,while based in truth, may not exactly be 100% as I
remember them but I'm a good writer and I try. There is no safety net
when you write: if you don't write what is real it would haunt you
later so I go to bed every night,having written something for some
purpose and it is what I have in my memory and my brain. So maybe it
is 98% accurate? It is hard to know.
Now reference swimming in the Missouri River I have to tell you that
it is 100% true because my memories are too vivid not to have done it.
But I don't think it is fair that I've had this unique experience and
others sort of have envy so I have a proposal. This winter I urge you
to build up a good layer of winter fat. Eat lots of Bryants BBQ or
your choice of fat and get what used to be called a Pickwickian body
build: you remember the pictures of men in fancy suits with large
chests? Next spring we will hold a meeting and signup potential
members of the Missouri River Swimming Club. I suggest that we use my
favorite bar, The Askew Inn, as the clubhouse and we'll have t-shirts
made and we'll have a couple of organizational meetings to get
everyone's courage bolstered with the help of the fine staff of the
Askew Inn. Then we will do it.
Now don't get me wrong. I'd like to be in there swimming with you who
envy my history of it but common decency requires that you have
someone in a boat with a megaphone and styrofoam swimming wings to
pass out to the brave souls who are gong to join those of us who have
already been baptised in the mighty Missouri River. We will meet some
July day at the River under the ASB Bridge and after a brief prayer
lead by a Unitarian,to not offend anyone's religious beliefs, we'll
help you march gleefully into the River that has nurtured our area for
thousands of years and we'll help guide you to the other side. I shall
wear purple in honor of my Northeast High School class of 1969 history
and when you struggle to the other side we shall hand you a
complimentary purple towel and a plastic cup that says "I survived the
Great Swim of 2006--courtesy of the Missouri River Swimming Club".
Imagine the pride you will have with your children recounting the
story "I didn't think I was going to make it, the current was so
strong, but somehow I did". We Northeast people are a hardy bunch and
I am fairly certain we won't lose many in the swim. I guarantee you
the press will be there to witness this show of bravery and nostalgia
about the Missouri River that has nurtured us all.
The signup sheet is online above. Will you be there or will you question my memories? We shall see.
